im not sure which way gray/grey is spelled. so i put both, but i always thought its was spelled with an A.
any way. today was tough, but nice. started off the day deccent. but then it got pretty bad. then fam. time really made my day a lot brighter.
i woke up frm joyce's fone call, she was on her way to work. played ps1 for a bit. ate breakfast/lunch. cuz i ate around noon. and then i drove home. some bad traffic. got me angrier. and then i luved seeing my parents and sibs agen. i luv them so much. they really cheered up my day. i wonder if i show my affection back as much as they show me how much they care for me. ... hrm ... I luv my family very very much. :-D
so after i got home, i tried to work on my essay. i have a revision due on monday. im kinda struggling. too hard. and i couldn't focus with all the things going on in my mind. i kinda just gave up on it nearing the end of the day. iono why, but im not dreading it so much. maybe i can work on it tomorrow on momma's day when i hav a break. speaking of which, we're gonna just go to mass at ten am. (too early if u ask me) and we're gonna have a home bbq grill style. sounds nice eh? iono tho, i would have prefered to go eat out somewhere with mom. but i guess that too traditional and overdone. plus, it was my mom's idea to hav the bbq. so why not do wut momma wants rite? hehe
so i had a talk with joyce today, and then i worked on my essay and gave up on it. played rock band with kuya sonny, and then we got Alfredo's mexican food and watch Harold and Kumar 2 : Escape from Guantanamo Bay. it was hella funny. i liked it a lot.
So i kinda feel bad, but i want to ask for more. iono why. i should just appreciate what i have and value it and enjoy it. but iono... i want more. does that make me a horrible person? I kinda wrote a personal diary entry on a word doc. just to vent. It felt good. but... im just not sure anymore. i feel like im stuck on a gray area where i just can't decide what i want. this doesn't really happen to me often. and that's why im kinda... feeling weird. cuz im ussually the type that knows what he wants and tries to get it. and right now... this grey feeling of emptyness makes me feel like... i need more to help me deicde. i want more... and i don't know why i do, but i feel guilty for asking for it. i just want to pray. Hopefully god can ease my soul and answer my questions and prayers.
Please Lord God, ease my worries, my pains, and my sorrows. Touch my heart with your holy light and embrance me in the shadows of fear. Save me with your almighty healing power and never let me go. Make me an instrument of your holy actions and will. Mold me into the the son of Adam you want me to be so that i may be mark me worthy of the promises of Christ our Lord. Make me strong and keep me whole so that I can overcome the boulders and obstacles in my everyday life. Please hear and answer my prayers if it is in accordance to your will and let me always feel your presence in warmth with comfortable open arms. Watch over me guide me and keep me and my countless blessings(family, friends, and everything i luv in life) safe where you my watch us, guide us, and keep us safe. And thank you Lord for everything you've done for me. I humbly say "Amen."
have a good nite everybody.
---aCe
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3 comments:
I love your personal blog Ace! I think it's a great way to express yourself with ranting and raving and getting everything down.. no matter how off topic and random your paragraphs are! hahah I'm the same way. Randomness [to an extent] is good. :) Anyways.. I'm glad that you're feeling much better with the depression thing. It hits all of us Ace. That's all I can really say. It's not a good thing or a bad thing. It's actually quite normal. I guess it's all a part of growing up and juggling different aspects of our lives and coping with it. I mean.. look at me! I get hit with a minor case of depression at least once a month. HAHAHAHAH I think it's good that you have some sort of venting outlet though. Whether in words/blog, physical activity, or through prayer.. that's really awesome. :) And you know.. you're a really tough and strong guy.. yet sensitive.. LMAO it sounds like some sort of dating ad. hahahhahahah :D ok, back on topic. ;) But yeah.. you're an optimistic person and have such a great outlook on life! That's why you're my onii-chan! ;) There's this quote that I know saying something like.. 'What happiness lacks in length, it makes up in height.' That pretty much hits it eh? And yes! I'm excited for Tita Ada coming over too! Dang, our weekend's going to be action-packed! NO LIE! Friggin Lakers today! Ugh!!!! =/ [HUGS] Ok Ace, have a great rest of the night! :D Talk to you later!
<3, Ate May
prayers and love always. let me know if you need anything homey, you deserve nothing but the best.
P.S. my family had a mother's day bbq at the house too haha
I hope you feel much better today, Acey-wacey. *hug* I'm glad and thankful for our conversations.
I thought Brenton wrote "horney", haha.
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