Current quote of the day: "And you just laughed it off and it was all okay... and we'll all float on okay..."
This weekend was Winter Retreat. I was really looking forward to it. So I arrived on Friday for early caravan around 5pm. While we were setting up the place to make it presentable for everyone to come in and use the place. When we started doing the paper bags, i received a text about my uncle who wasn't doing well in the hospital. I heard he wasn't doing well and was on life support, his organs was failing. He couldn't even more much less open his eyes. something was helping him breathe. i was a little worried, but i couldn't do much but pray. It was rather shocking because he seemed to be recovering well. His grip was strong the last time i shook it, Uncle remained optimistic, and he was smiling when i last saw him.
I knew of his brain tumor about 2 months prior, but what was crazy is that he seemed to be recovering well, was strong in grip when i shook his hand, and he was always optimistic. He had already received a 2nd surgery and i thought that was that for surgeries. all that was left was chemo therapy.
I guess wut happened was that the first surgery took out most of the tumor in the first surgery. For some reason, Uncle was leaking fluids out of his nose during the recovery period, which required him to take up a second surgery to close up the fluid flowing. The time in between this took place required Tito to start Chemo therapy at a later date because the wounds/scar opening needed to heal in order to begin the Chemo therapy.
It turns out that the 2nd surgery did more hard that good because it created more time for the tumor to spread to during the time it took the 2nd surgery to heal, making the chemo irrelevant after the second surgery. Chemo couldn't do much with the size of the tumor when they found out how fast the tumor spread. it was crazy.
So Saturday of retreat, my siblings text me on sayin that they don't know if Unlce Eddie will recover, it's only a matter of time and Aunti Minda already accepted it. She gave the word that if Uncle Eddie starts crashing, the Dr. doesn't have to try to resuscitate him. My whole family visited my Uncle in the hospital. I was the only one who wasn't there. It was hard to focus on retreat knowing that. I called my kuya during down time of retreat and he told me he could put the phone over my Uncle's ear so I could talk to him and say a few words...
It was hard to talk to my Uncle. I said I was sorry for not being able to be there next to him and that I should have spent more time with him. I told him how much i loved him and a lot of other things i don't really remember. Those were my last words I ever said to my Uncle.
I found out later when I went home to see my family that my Uncle teared up when I was talking with him on the phone. A tear came down even tho his eyes were closed. He understood everything around him, but was just in a lot of pain and immobile. (if i knew that fact... it might've affected how I served during retreat...)
During retreat, a few people knew (but not everyone) about my Uncle and they all comforted me and people prayed for me. I got to share some stories with Scuba and Steve Forton about my Uncle. that made me feel a little better about the situation. Sunday early morning of retreat, I get a call from my Father telling me he passed away 3am, Sunday, Feb 28. My dad's voice quivered. I heard my dad didn't take it too well at first. I felt called to share with my LOG family... but i didn't know how or when to. It was hard to say it others. I decided later before mass that I was going to do closing prayer. It was probably the most nervous I've ever felt when doing a prayer out loud. My heart pounded like it was going to jump out of my chest. I told everyone through prayer and i got a lotta love and support afterwards.
I attended the viewing yesterday night. My Auntie Minda wanted to cremate his body instead of burial so they can take him back to the Phillipines so family members there can see. I left early from my discussion/presentation. to go. I arrived and saw a lot of family members. Family who I haven't seen for a while and of course, my family. I got to see my uncle laying in his coffin. there were beautiful flowers all around with pictures of him. Most of the pictures were recent from my Ate Ann's wedding day. Ate Ann said she was lucky her Ninong was still alive to have him at her wedding.
When i saw auntie Minda, she hugged me and started crying. the first things she said to me was "Acey... *sob sob* He was looking for you, asking where you were before he was to the hospital...*sob*" auntie Minda said this in Tagalog. My heart felt heavy. She wasn't guilt tripping me, but those words really hit me hard and stuck with me. If i knew that too while I was at retreat.... Iono how i would've made it through retreat. i might've wanted to leave retreat early to go see him in the hospital. i prayed for my uncle there, I cried with my family. I met my uncle's coworkers and i got to catch up with a few family members I haven't seen in a long time. When the mortuary was closing up, the rest of the family and friends that were there closed up in prayer. Auntie Minda went over to the coffin saying(in Tagalog) "We're going home now Daddy... We're going home now..." She started sobbing and the rest of the family followed suit. It was hard to see Auntie Minda like that. Uncle Eddie and Auntie Minda's daughter Ate Dang said not to shed tears over the coffin and told the kids "no crying." She did her best to hold back her tears and went over to the corner of the room back towards us when she couldn't hold it in.
It was a really sad and hard week this week. As usual, it was a busy week with a lot to do. Because I've been so busy, i didn't really get to sleep much. I got sick because of it. In spite of this weeks events; there have been some highs. I went out with Liwanag core and had a mini social. it was a lotta fun and it really got my mind offa things. Also, when I came home, i was greeted with a small surprise. i found a bag of habanero cheetos and a nice card. It was seriously one of the nicest if not THE nicest surprise i've ever received in my entire life. I had no idea where it came from or who dropped it off, but ya. It really made me feel better. it was a nice gesture and the writing in the card was quite touching. i read it over twice. The writing looked familiar, but I'm uncertain still if it belongs to him/her or not.
Blogging about this made me feel better. hopefully i can look back at this blog and think about pleasant memories of my Uncle. I'm praying for you Uncle Eddie.
RIP
Ziegfried Enriquez aka Uncle Eddie
February 28th 2010 | 3:00 am
End time: 9:50pm
