first blog

hrm, so joyce-joyce has a blogspot, and i happen to like the idea. a great way to vent yourself and share idea. quite a grand idea if u ask me. plus i need help with my writing and mechanics. it totally sux. so feel free to leave me as many comments as you please, most especially if it's about analyzing my thougths or commenting on my word ussage and grammar. or even just saying a simple "hi" as u might've heard me say before, a few words can just really make my day. :-)

well in any case. one of the main reasons i decided to create a blogspot account was cuz i needed to vent. i had this strong reason to make one because like... iono why, but ive been feeling depressed reccently. for the past week and a half i've been feeling this way. now now everyone. let's not be alarmed and call a group meeting with my family and closes friends and talk about me for twelve hrs. honestly i doubt the credibility with those types of experiments. i feel like it can either have a really good effect on the target, or make them go berserk and postal for having them sit still and listen to how much everyone cares about him her.

and no i don't feel like cutting myself or anything. im not that depressed. I never really understood the point in doing so. how does it make u feel better and why would u do it? i never really got the main point. although i do know a few ppl. who have gone through that experience of having to cut themselves because they felt it was necessary. and they aren't very happy and delightful stories to hear, i'll tell u that much. i feel so much sadness just thinking about them. all those ppl. i know. i'll pray for them. please pray for them too, esp. if u know ppl. who do that to themselves.

but yeah, i've been feeling depressed lately, and im not too sure why, which is the weird thing. hrm... is it the change of scenary? and not having a stable living environment? girlfriend issues? not visiting home for a long time? lack of spiritual faith? jealousy? combinations of all or a few of the mentioned above. none of the above? who knows?

Maybe i've been feeling depressed because i think about the things that make me sad. and i ponder on it so much to the point where it effects my actions. or something triggers me to think or relate to something sad that has happend to me or is happening to me. and i just ponder on it. which i probably shouldn't do that. but my mind just seems to wander away from me and imagine on it's own sometimes. i often wonder my limitations of controlling my mind. how far cna i really control my focus and attention span? can i control my mind from daydreaming? can i choose when to dream? that'd be pretty interesting if i could.

well in anycase. what's new with me. i moved into a nice new place with my own room with really cheap rent. im living with a semi-strick older couple who are aquaintances of my parents. i get horrible reception tho. sux butt. Tito Homer and Tita Lu Lu. Tita LuLu can cook some good food. snaps. and i hear tito homer plays tennis and is down to hit with my brother and i.what i like about the place is that i have my own room, but it's kinda lonely without a roomate, i gotta admit. and the place is well furnished. such a nice house. i like it here. i think it'll just take me some time to get adjusted and used to it.

lately i've been finding some good tennis time with robert siew and charlene and charmiane (im trying to the call them "the twins" so correct me if i say "the twins" and scold me) LOG is awesome. i luv the ppl. in LOG. and i can't stop smiling when i'm around them. im an extrovert, and when i'm around loggers. i can't stop bouncin' off the walls. so much genuine and great ppl. in there. and i luv each and every one of them.

UCI is going alrite, classes are all chill. only pressured when it gets down to midterms and finals.

Things im looking forward to(written in no particular order of importance just what came to mind first that's all) :

1. Mark teaching me how to play the guitar
2. Mark and i going to work out or run together
3. Joyce and I having our fifth month together
4. all the LOG meetings
5. Nancy's thursday lunches
6. Nancy telling us more of her childhood stories. they so cool i heard on this afternoon! Nancy's the coolest older lady i know! =D
7. New place im living in
8. Spring banquet
9. More tennis with robert of tito home or kuya sonny or whoevers down to play
10. cool summer job
11. LOG summer retreat
12. spending time with a relative from the Phillipines

I just noticed my paragraphs are very random. sry about that, i am just a random dude in general and i just got tons of thought just bouncing around in my noggin somewhere.

Things im not so looking forward to:

1. summer school
2. problems
3. checking spam mail
4. spending money and penny pinching
5. getting hurt (could apply to anything physical or emotional)

This is a pretty long blog entry, i kinda like it. hahaha nice for a first blog entry rite?

so rite now, julian, girl julian that is, is trying to see if she could hook me up iwht a really cool summer job that im interested in. but the only problem is that i need to have my summer classes in between the hrs. of 8am to 3 pm. and i signed up for a 7 pm. class. so iono if that's gonna still work out for me. it's on TuTh tho.

i kinda feel like i've been writing a lot. i kinda wanna take a break. i bet ur eyes are tired of reading this. kay... i think i'll play some games on onemorelevel.com this is an awesome site and i highly reccomend it to everyone. two thumbs up. heheh. everyone hav a great day today. peaCe

---aCe