numb lock = ghosts?

current song of the moment: "Roses" by Outkast

Roses Outkast
Uploaded by avajra

Current Quote of the Day: "when the times comes, forget all the wrong that i've done, help me leave behind some reasons to be missed, and dont resent me. when you're feeling empty, keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest..." ---Linkin Park Leave out allt he rest

So today i went to costco to get my tire fixed, i bought a brand new tire. woot. : ) so that's great. but wut sux is the two and a half hr. wait. i told mark sescon this after sunday mass and he was nice enuf to accompany me so i wouldn't hav to wait by myself. i thought that was really nice of him to volunteer his time and self like that. and Jem came along too so that was a lotta fun. im glad they came with me. or else i wudda been hella bored. But i think it really shows a lot about their character and friendship. that they were nice enuf and willing to kik it with me for two hrs and stuff. so yeah. mad shout out to them and thx. : D

so i got an awk situation that just happened to me reccently. i saw this one girl i used to date in HS... (her names Alicia) with her new bf. im still pretty tite with Alicia, and we talk every now and then and kik it here and ther. i knew she had a new boyfriend, but it was my first time meeting him and i knew alican and him were gonna be at this bday party i was gona go to over the weekend. first thing i noticed wen i met him was that he was tall. second thing was that he had a nice dark forrest green sweater from Volcom. i owned the very same sweater becasue Alicia gave it to me as a present. a few years ago.

so later on that night, Alicia, her bf, and a few friends and i were around a table chit chatting. someone comments on how nice Alicia's Bf's sweater looks. he says that Alicia gave it to him as a present... interesting huh? i look around the table and see everyone talking about the sweater and commenting it. i notice Alicia is the only one looking away at the TV and not paying attention. she doesn't make eye contact with me nor does she say anything until the subject was changed.

so at this point, i don't really know wut to say, or how shud i react. i just felt hella AWKWARD lol. iono how i am suppose to feel or wut am i suppose to say? lol. i thought about saying like "oh yeah! it's nice, i have the same exact sweater too!" and if they ask who gave it to me i'd just b like "oh, a really good HS friend gave it to me as apresent" but iono, i felt like that wudda bin rubbing it in somehow.

could u imagine if i happened to b wearing the same sweater? i wonder how more awk. that would make the situation when i met him. LOL. dang man.

so i was a victim of numb-lock(sleep paralysis-where ur heart is beating and lungs are breathing, and are subconsciously awake, but cannot move an entire muscle or any part of your body) for the second time of my life today. i've had it only once before hand. i just came back from my econ 13 class and i knocked out on the couches at interfaith. Huan was at the far behind couch already knocked out. i took the other one and went to sleep. so as i was asleep, i felt a black shadowed figure come over me, i thought it was Huan and it appeared as tho he was laying his body on top of me like to squish me or sumtin but i didn't feel anything, and then i heard in a soft yet demanding whisper "wake up! wake up! you're gonna be late! wake up!" etc. and i was like.... wuts goin on? so i felt like i was awake cuz my mind was thinking. and i tried moving my arms and stuff, but i couldn't. then i just heard random whispering sounds like "psshh whishh psshs pshshhs" etc. and i was kinda getting freaked out.

so i heard/felt my heartbeating faster and harder, at least i knew i was alive and stuff. and then i focused on my breathing. making sure i was doing so. my breathing wanted to make sure i was breathing cuz if i knew that i was breathing and my heart was beating, i can't die in my sleep. ya know? haha. so i was like... dude. if i havne' woken up yet, why hasn't the person like... shaken me awake yet? ya know? so i was just kinda waiting a bit to see if the person would shake me up to wake me, but it never came. so i just focused on my breathing, and my breathing became progressively more and more deep and heavier. i just became scared cuz i couldnt' control my limbs. ya kno? as i focused on myself to just breathe, i noticed that the whispers had gone and faded away. and i managed to finally fully wake up with me being able to move and stuff.

i checked behind me, and Huan was still knocked out, i stood up and looked around interfaith, but no one was there, i know there was a random person that used that interfaith bathroom, and then walked out, but iono who it was nor did i see their face/body. but yeah man. i was pretty scared with what happened today

i heard frm an older friend, JR, that wen you get sleep paralysis, it happens when like, and evil spirit seizes ur body and stuff. and wen he gets it, he doesnt' wanna open his eyes, cuz he's afraid to see some crzy ghost or sumtin. iono he had a more detailed answer and stuff. but yeah, i shud ask him about it again. i didn't realy beleive it wen he first told me, but now ii think i'm more open to that being an actual possiblity.

and i did not make any of this up, this was for realz and it happend today man. i was tripped the frick out man. hahah o wellz i think im dun for the day with my blog more next time

End time: 12:30 am

winter quarter

song of the moment: "Make Damn Sure" by Taking Back Sunday

TBS - Make Damn Sure
Uploaded by halo24

this is got to be one of my fav. music vids. somewhere in the top five. i reccomend u watch it all the way thru.

current quote of the day: "The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one" ---Joan Baez

i like the following quote cuz it reminds me of eloquent speakers. how ppl. can just easily sway others in a debate or speech, yet when it comes down to one on one time, they crumble or are socially awk. i wonder if i'll ever be able to master both sides of the social skills. it wud b nice wouldn't it? : )

well, im only 12 units this quarter. i couldn't get into fiction writing. no luck. but that's okay, maybe it was a sign that i shud take a few units this quarter to boost up my gpa again to where it was at. and i tooke 8 units over summer, i think i shud b fine rite? i'll try again for fiction writing next quarter. hehe. but what's funny is that the more econ classes i take, the more i feel like i really do sync with my major. i really like what i learn, and i think like an economist, i just never new it! it's kinda crzy how that worked out. i'm always thinking about profit maximization. and if there's one thing about econmics, it's supply and demand, and profit maximiations and forecasting. that's the major parts of econ. lol

in any case, i want this blog kinda short. so here it goes. i miss my roomate a bit. she's in the PI. i hope she's having fun tho. hehe.

i did this signature analysis thing. and i think it's pretty cool! check it out! : D

http://www.grafologico.com/english/signature/index.asp

here are my results

Graphologically, the signature is a brief biography of the author.
It must be seen together with a text that comes with it, but, anyway, according to certain specific characteristics about your signature, the following can be distinguished:

The position in the paper indicates that you manifested as a cautious and centered person.
According to the signature size, medium-sized, there is a tendency towards the moderate extroversion.
The predominance of straight shapes reveals discipline, order and some pragmatism.
The ascending angle indicates an important sense of ambition and desire of overcoming.
The fast speed indicates accentuated agility and dynamism.
According to the pressure of the writing, you have a practical and active temperament.
The rubric indicates security and determination; a person who is always trying to achieve its own goals, facing challenges and new situations.
Since there are only a few legible letters, it indicates that you take certain reservations before granting your confidence to others.
The use of the capital letters allows deducing that you have a very important self-image and self-consciousness.
By using your full name, you demonstrate a balance between the familiar and social roll. Your interior voice and the tradition.

The preceding characteristics of this report are general, and are entirely based on what your personal stamp represents at the instantaneous moment from which you wrote it. Many factors are linked to permanent change according to the development of your life.

so im working on my resume to get an internship for PIMCO (where Balster works) im kinda excited to work there. hopefully i get in! i hope i do, and i feel much more confident since Balster is guiding me with everything. in any case; i gotta work on it some more. but plz pray for me! i really want this position over the summer. Thanks guys!

gotta go. catch me online or call. :-D

end time: 11:29

First blog of 09

Current song of the day: "Famous Last Words" by My Chemical Romance



this is one of those rare songs that really get me pumped and feel like moshing (even tho i think moshing makes u look kinda dumb sometimes. lol jumping up and down is cool and pushing here n there is fun, but when it looks like ur elbowing urself and are having a fist fight with yourself like Jim Carrey in Liar Liar, then i think u've gone quite overboard ;-P)

Quote of the Day "... So many... bright lights that cast a shadow.." --- from the song aforementioned

i like to interpret that as like... great and powerful ppl. who have many things such as looks, power, money etc. emit a bright light(like an aura if u will) and the light hits the people around them and a black shadow is casted. i see the shadow as the person's envy growing as they look(or try to look if they can) at the bright shining person. wanting to be them and have what they have. etc. but the rest of the lyrics don't seem to follow that pattern, ti's more like... being independent in a ferocious world filled with hearbreak and other things. but then again, my analysis of this song cud b totally wrong. in any case, i really like that quote and part of the song.

in any case, here are the topics of discussion for today:

1. immaturity???
2. Benjamin Button
3. Resolutions
4. hair cut style wanted http://www.menshairstyles.net/v/asian-man-hair-style/0100.jpg.html
5. contacts

1. so i just reccently asked the question. "am i still immature?" i know i used to be a lot more immature bak in the day, but wut about now? i found myself asking, am i realy growing up??? or not growing up at all. lol i guess a few things hav happened and a select few who are more mature than I (or at least i view them as being more mature than I) made me feel like i was immature, i kinda felt like a Jr. High kid for a sec hanging around a well cultured college clique or a fine dining upper class. it just felt weird and it hit me. haha. iono man.

i talked about it with joyce, and she really cheered me up and stuff. thx joycerz! but um... we discussed stuff like comfortability levels and openess. i was in ASB and i was constnatly surrounded with ppl. who were very open, sociable, and comfortable in various evnirontments. i guess that since i was surrounded with very open and ppl. who are very comfortable with new aquantances / okay freindships are more likely to open up better. and yet wen i try to act taht way with other's who aren't so open, i feel like they see me as an immature person. alrite, moving on to next subject! hehe

2. i recentlly saw a Movie with Charlene, Joyce, and Ruben. it was called "the curious case of benjamin Button" starring Brad Pitt it was originally a story concept my F. Scott Fitzgerald (the author of the Great Gatsby) it is about a man who ages backwords. born old, and gorws younger. Charlene happened to be all gung ho about watching it and stuff and she told me about it, we got joyce to come along and she invited Ruben. the more the merrier rite? (speaking of which, i heard Charmaine saw it too, i gotta ask her about that. i'll make a mental note. LOL!)hehe. to be honest with u guys, i wasn't really very excited to watch the movie. it didn't appeal to me much. "this better b worth my ten bux" i said. lol! but i came out the theatre quite happy. i liked the movie very very much. it was one of those films that niche'd at ur heart. kinda like click, but the story telling reminded me of the Notebook, but it had the life experiences similar but not as good as Forrest Gump. (charlene and i talked about it on aim and came up with somthing along those lines of movies all combined in one. lol) so yeah. i reccomend it to all, it has it's comedic moments, but it has it's strong mometns aswell with a few thatrical symbolic moments as well such as a humming bird and a yellow balloon flying away. it was pretty cool. themes of life and death, and family values, its just about LIFE in gneeral and it made me not want to take things for granted. for all the things i have and own, i don't want to ever take it for grated (even tho i know i am not perfect and i prolly will.) it's movies like this that make me realize the blessings i have in my life.

3. so i know im late on this blog, but it certainly is the hot topc during this time of year. New Year's Resolutions. i only hav a few low aiming ones, that way, i know i can actually keep them this new year. it's like... seriously tho, by July, who actually is thinking of their new years resolution tho? cuz i knkow i dont and i certainly don't hear anyone talking about it. lol. well, we'll see how my resolutions go. i want to stretch every nite before i sleep. it might help be grow taller because if my ligaments and joints are stretched out and loose, wen my bones grow (if they are still growing) they will hav less resistance to inc. their size and it might make me taller. this is just what i heard anyway, iono if it'll really work. but it's good to be flexible too ya know?

my next one is to learn all the saints and know as much as i can about the bracelet i always wear. it sux if i just wear it around and i don't have a single clue what ti's aobut or who's on it if ppl. ask me (and ppl. have asked me) so yeah. it's somewhat embarassing. i only wear it cuz it's holy and it shows that im catholic? well that sux. so ima do my best and learn about all the pics on my bracelet and stuff. : D

and my third resolution, ima keep it on the DL. but yeah. i don't normally tell ppl. this one and i have my reasons. but u can always try asking me my third resolution in person, i might tell u i might not. haha. but yeah. ;-)

4. so if u click the link uptop. that is the haircut that im shooting for hopefully by my birthday. i want that look. i like the way it looks. i wonder if i can pull it off. go click the link and tell me wutchu think.

5. so for my xmas/birthday present frm my fam. instead of a longboard, ima switch it to contacts. cuz i feel that contacts are much more important rite now than a longboard. i've heard frm a few ppl. that i wouldn't look too bad in contacts. plus i think my glasses are breaking down on me, i believe i've had the same pair of glasses since sophmore year in high school. so about four years ago. maybe longer. i can't remember. cud be fresh year hs or eight grade. not sure anymore. just know that i've had this pair for a while now. so yeah. im very excited to get contacts even tho im so effing scared to touch my eye. but then again, its an experience rite? haha. and if my fam pays so much money for me to wear them, i better learn how to deal wiht it and wear them rite? haha.

oh, and i really really appreciated Ronneza's last comment on my last blog entry. it was much appreciated. shoud to to Ronneza! WOOT!

End Time: 10:58 pm