even tho i hav a midterm tomorrow(technically today) and friday, i still manage to find the time to blog. funnie isn't it? i just wanted to vent a bit of my thoughts with the electronic online paper which is the internet.
I am learning a lot, and asking advice from various people, and i appreciate everything. but i feel so discouraged somtimes. i need to be more confident. i keep telling myself. i think my main course of action for the time being is to just not get my hopes up. NOT GET MY HOPES UP. fudge man. i just... i just shouldn't try... but like, i kinda just don't wanna try n e more. i just wanna play it by ear and do things with how i feel at the time. Having expectations sux. and i should just drop them. am i being too negative? sry...
i think it's just that i miss a feeling that i really want back... but i should really prioritize myself and focus my thoughts and energy elsewhere... why do i do this to myself, i hav no idea...
good night all
end time 2:24
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I'm trying something new...
so im trying to do this new thing, it's what most ppl. do with blogging, and it's to blog in bits and pieces instead of what i have been doing like blogging in mass essayish style of writing on how my past month has been. we'll see how well i do with this.
So today was a new day, and just like any other day. things come at me sooooo unexpectedly. but i think i dealt with them with the best of my ability. thinking back on it... i could have handled things a little better... but i didn't. if only there was a rewind buttom of time like freaking Prince of Persia or sumtin... (am i hella nerdy for knowing/saying sumtin like that? lol)
so i got angry at a really good friend today, and i am generally great at controlling my anger. but i guess i couldn't help it. It upsets me to know the fact that i messed up. and i should really just let it go. but i think it was just in the heat of the moment, and i just got caught up. i should really relax more... i needa stop acting so childish and stupid. i needa grow up a bit more...
I am a little worried about some of my best friends. i've recieved news about some of my closest freinds doing some things that aren't the best thing for they're health rite now. i really hope they are doing okay and that God watches over them. I had a good talk with Ronneza about this, and she was such a great listener and i felt really comfortable talking to her. thx Ronneza! : D she gave me some valuable insight, and then we started talking with Father John francis about viet food with Pierre and the convo just went haywire frm there. haha. i wanted to talk to Ronneza a bit more about one more topic, but Father came in on our convo. but it was all good tho. : )
I'm kinda excited for LOG tomorrow, costumes and all. i can't wait to wear mine. haha. it'll be great.
So i was talking to Steve Forton, and he's such a cool guy to talk to. i feel like i can open up with him about alotta stuff. hahaha. i hope i get to see him in person soon. i miss that fooolio. haha. we were talking about going to the Improv again... awe man. sooo much fun! srsly.
I also felt like i missed a good opportunity today to get something i realy wanted. i just wish i could turn back that clock again... but it's all good, i just hope things work out. yep im just hoping and making bold actions. lol
So i was talking with Valerie (my roomate) and we talked for such a long time. she always takes me away form my hw. but it's all good. what we talk about is such valuable, lifelong lessons. lol maybe im exaggerating it a bit too much. but yeah, what we talked about was really important. to me anyway. and im starting to feel very comfortable and open with her. and i appreciate her in my life. thank you lord for giving me her in my life, her support, advice, and personality is truly irrepaceable. hehe. we talked about me "changing my mindset" so to speak. i can't go tooooo much into detail, but that's what the gist of it was. and i really luv her advice. i feel like it's gonna work. i feel like i owe her so much. : D
so i had a semi-bad day start. but it got better as the day progressed. i laid off a bit of hw. and played tennis then bball. then the talk with Val really helped me out. so i feel better. i don't know wut i'd do without the mad support of others. i really thank them. today was a good healthy day, but iono about academic day. lol. but i did a bit of hw before i blogged and sleep tonite.
and to finish off this blog(which turned out longer than i expected)... i just wanna leave it off with this lyric frm the band called Elefant. the song entitled Misfit and a lil sumtin i typed up myself
"tell me your name... tell me your story... cuz im into it. running thru life... like a Misfit..."
"It's complicated... and im hella busy... and i dont' think i have much time. but i needa do this. i can do this. i have this resolve. i am determined. Ace with the new mindset..."
end time 3:12
good nite all
So today was a new day, and just like any other day. things come at me sooooo unexpectedly. but i think i dealt with them with the best of my ability. thinking back on it... i could have handled things a little better... but i didn't. if only there was a rewind buttom of time like freaking Prince of Persia or sumtin... (am i hella nerdy for knowing/saying sumtin like that? lol)
so i got angry at a really good friend today, and i am generally great at controlling my anger. but i guess i couldn't help it. It upsets me to know the fact that i messed up. and i should really just let it go. but i think it was just in the heat of the moment, and i just got caught up. i should really relax more... i needa stop acting so childish and stupid. i needa grow up a bit more...
I am a little worried about some of my best friends. i've recieved news about some of my closest freinds doing some things that aren't the best thing for they're health rite now. i really hope they are doing okay and that God watches over them. I had a good talk with Ronneza about this, and she was such a great listener and i felt really comfortable talking to her. thx Ronneza! : D she gave me some valuable insight, and then we started talking with Father John francis about viet food with Pierre and the convo just went haywire frm there. haha. i wanted to talk to Ronneza a bit more about one more topic, but Father came in on our convo. but it was all good tho. : )
I'm kinda excited for LOG tomorrow, costumes and all. i can't wait to wear mine. haha. it'll be great.
So i was talking to Steve Forton, and he's such a cool guy to talk to. i feel like i can open up with him about alotta stuff. hahaha. i hope i get to see him in person soon. i miss that fooolio. haha. we were talking about going to the Improv again... awe man. sooo much fun! srsly.
I also felt like i missed a good opportunity today to get something i realy wanted. i just wish i could turn back that clock again... but it's all good, i just hope things work out. yep im just hoping and making bold actions. lol
So i was talking with Valerie (my roomate) and we talked for such a long time. she always takes me away form my hw. but it's all good. what we talk about is such valuable, lifelong lessons. lol maybe im exaggerating it a bit too much. but yeah, what we talked about was really important. to me anyway. and im starting to feel very comfortable and open with her. and i appreciate her in my life. thank you lord for giving me her in my life, her support, advice, and personality is truly irrepaceable. hehe. we talked about me "changing my mindset" so to speak. i can't go tooooo much into detail, but that's what the gist of it was. and i really luv her advice. i feel like it's gonna work. i feel like i owe her so much. : D
so i had a semi-bad day start. but it got better as the day progressed. i laid off a bit of hw. and played tennis then bball. then the talk with Val really helped me out. so i feel better. i don't know wut i'd do without the mad support of others. i really thank them. today was a good healthy day, but iono about academic day. lol. but i did a bit of hw before i blogged and sleep tonite.
and to finish off this blog(which turned out longer than i expected)... i just wanna leave it off with this lyric frm the band called Elefant. the song entitled Misfit and a lil sumtin i typed up myself
"tell me your name... tell me your story... cuz im into it. running thru life... like a Misfit..."
"It's complicated... and im hella busy... and i dont' think i have much time. but i needa do this. i can do this. i have this resolve. i am determined. Ace with the new mindset..."
end time 3:12
good nite all
Sunday, October 26, 2008
I'm in a pretty good mood.
sup guys, iono who still reads my blog. lol cuz it's been about a month since i last wrote sumtin in here. i keep telling myself to write more stuff on my blogspot, but i never get around to it, or i get lazy, or don't feel like doing it, etc. but i really should write in more entries and stuff. wen i read other ppl.'s blogs, they have some really cool stuff in there, and i wanna share it with you guys, then maybe ppl. might actually read my blogspot more often. lol
anyways, a lot has happened since the last time i blogged. a month has passed, and so much has gone on, im not sure where to begin. so ima just type whatever comes to my head. so i made this quick list and i guess i'll expand on each of the following... hrm...this blog might turn out longer than what i expected. lol
1) so i know blogging about Tappas clubbing is long overdue, but yes, i shall blog about it. It was a lot of fun. seriously. Steve definetly made the night too man. It was practically a Smore hang out plus Steve and it was hella tite man. i luved it. my second time clubbin' and i just had a good time. a lotta sweaty ppl. hot environment, drunkards, u know how that goes, but it was all fun tho. let me tell u guys sumtin, Steve Forton knows how to dance, and he was battle this one guy that can pop really well too, and steve held his own, and then Kaba ppl showed up. and then we smores felt really kool for a couple of minutes. lol. cuz we started up a battle cirlce that ended up having kaba ppl. in there. haha. but in the end, we started our own dance cirlce again, and it was just kool. in the end, with the last song, we had a train line and just ended the nite, it was kool. i also felt like i learned sumtin. im not sure, but i felt like someone was teaching me sumtin on what i can do on the dancefloor, wuts acceptable and how far i can go... etc. like...iono how to describe it... but i don't think i'd be kool if i described it in a public blog, maybe ask me in person about this topic. lol.... anyway moving on! next subject we got to check out a nice viewpoint with Ronneza's exp. and good sense of direction. It was a beautiful, and cool night air with the stars shining brightly in the sky and the city lights down below us. it was just wonderful to look at, made u feel kinda powerful looking down upon the city, made u feel tall and known. haha. all in all, it was a good nite. even tho most of us had class the next day, we ddin't care. we just went out and came home late and just did our thing before school started. It was just AWESOME. a great nite to remember.
2)Steve also took some of us Smore's out to the Improv. and it was a lotta fun. man, i needed the good laff. such fun with virgin funny named drinks. srsly man, without mr. forton, the smore hang outs wouldn't have ever happend. we owe u one man. The Improv would also make a great date too. im definitely gonna hav to go bak there someday.... someday... *looks off in the sky... my eyes glaze over. a hopeful smile twinkles on ace's face.* lol sry, that was hella random
3)So apart from LOG, i've found and decided to become active in Kyrie. it has been a lotta fun, and made a lot of great new friends. there really is so much to learn from each of the varying catholic communities on campus. how we worship in different ways and the differences among the communities is quite intersting to observe and experience first hand. im kinda surprised that not many of us (catholics at uci that is) branch off and become more active in more than just one club. i feel like most of us (such as myself) become too complacent with where we are at, and don't want to experience and try new scenarios and things. i also feel like Race shouldn't be a factor in branching out to another community. There should be no such boundaries when it comes to praising God. u know? so i highly encourage everyone to just go out there and check out another catholic club besides the one you are already in!
4) i know i probably say this over and over... but i LOVE my family. they are so awesome, they support me so much. I don't think people close to me understand or realize how much my family supports me and encourages me. i dont' know where'd i'd be without God and Them. i am truly blessed, and i feel like i don't tell/show it enuf. if i ever have anyone to fall back on, it's God and my family. I always feel welcome and included with my family, not matter the age difference. i hang out with they're friends who are a couple of years older than me, and i feel accepted, and wanted. the feeling is irriplaceable. My parents also give me all sorts of medicine whether im sick or not, it's kinda like they're way of showing they love me even tho they dont' explicitly say it. i know my parent's and that's how they are. i seriuosly have bottle of medicine and herbs, and pills and juices and etc. and i forget what good they do for me, what am i suppose to use it for and how i am even suppose to use it. lol. but that's my parents and i know they love me. : D My siblings seriously support me so much, as in financially, emotionally, physically, mentally. the works man. they're like the whole package of awesomeness. they buy me food, giv me money to spend and hav fun with. invite me to the fun stuff they do, so that way i don't burn out frm school shizz and then some! Physical, mental, and economical support. and i can't thank them enuf for that. luv u guys! = D
5) MOTP(mass on the plaza) was really good, although i felt like i didn't do much/didn't put in as much effort as everyone else did, it still managed to turn out as a success. i heard there is even new talk of Interfaith getting a new building because of how great MOTP was. i hope all things go well. Mad props to UCC u guys did a lot and did a great job. all that hard work paid off eh? and MOTP Choir, so freaking talented man, i wish i was musically talented like u guys... im not sure if i have the time to learn how to play all the kool stuff u guys do, but maybe someday... i'll pick an instrument up and learn it.
6) Since i felt like Huan and I had the easier end of the stick with MOTP, I asked Huan if he was kool to back me up with coordinating UCC Rally. i knew i couldn't have done this alone. I definitely needed someone to spotcheck me. and it just so turns out that huan made an excellent partner in planning this rally. he really backed me up sooooo much with the planning and coordinating of everything. iono how the rally or I would've turned out by the nite it all went down. the rally coulda been like crap, and i coulda been hella stressed out. rofl.
So Huan and I were shooting for the stars with this rally, we were planning for 150+ ppl. to show up, but it ends up being about only approx. 50 ppl. lol. oh wellz. we both wanted it to be a really good turn out (which it was) but a good turn out as in it being a big rally with tons of ppl. out there i the crowd making noise jumping up n down sprit rally kinda thing. that's wut i was hoping for. but it's all good. we still had a fun filled spiritual nite. it was really dope. It still turned out to be a lotta fun even tho it wasn't what Huan and i expected. also... Huan and i have a confession to make... lol
we did a lot of last min. planning. like... on the spot planning, and with God's will, it just happend to work out. not sure how, but check this out. Huan and i planned so much... like weeks in advance. so Huan and i plan out with all the activites, moods, and transitions set. but what we didn't know was where HSLH was at. lol, so Huan knows it's across campus near Sci. Library. we go in and we plan for this rally in a totally different building (i think it was PSLH) LOL. so the nite of, Huan and i find out that we were planning a rally for a toally diff. building, and that taolly changed up position of choir, groups discussion numbers, booth for nametags. etc. so we did some mad scrambling, last minute copies with JPC. rosary ppl. for LOG. and there was just this that and the other, but for some reason, things worked out well.
just some future advice for others, and maybe myself next year, plan better with more specific activities. don't hav it during midterms week... and make sure you are planning this for the right room. lolz. i also felt like some groups weren't well represeted for at the UCC Rally. like... one catholic community had more support and more members show up than the other catholic community. i really wanted a lotta support and a lotta ppl. but i guess u can't hope too big if not everyone is down. u know? iono, let's just hope things are better next year. do i plan on doing rally again next year? lets' keep that as a BIG MAYBE ???
7) so helping out with 6:30 mass has been going okay. it's not that bad, but i know when there is holy days of obligatoin, or when i have to use the incents... i might fail. lol. iono man. im scared that ima mess up or hit someone in the head or sumtin. lol. I kinda don't like that fact that i have an obligation to show up really early for mass... i mean. don't get me wrong, i LOVE to serve the Lord, and what better way to do it than help serve for mass, but what about holiday's that i want to spend with my fam. bak at home for the weekend? or what about have the flexability to go to noon mass if i have something planned at 6:30 etc. iono man. i don't like that fact that im bound to something that's hard to get out of, and they way i see this, is that im going to have to do this for the next three years almost every sunday until i graduate... i mean, i have grown so much as in respecting mass more and i like what i do, but ti's just the fact that i have this obligation to do this. i needa just shut the eff up and deal with it tho. argh. iono man. i fee like i should stop whining like a lil B and just take up this cross and do it. because i know i can. iono man. i dun really know wut else to say. ah wuteverszzzz..... next topic
8) Dang... so like... i am like Wow'd rite now. My curiosity has definitely been sparked. it makes me wonder... Do you guys ever have this happen to u?: What you are just minding you own business doing you daily activities, a certain idea or thought constantly pops into your head and you just daydream about it for a while. and it constantly pops up throughout the day... the same thought/idea. where it affects the way you feel, your mood, the amount you eat. etc? do you/have you ever felt this way?
i am seriously doing my best not to get my hopes up, but i cant' stop thinking about it. i just... i think i'll leave it at that... ;-) = D
9) so i have made up my mind, i definetly want a longboard, and i want to learn how to ride one. My mind is made up... seriously. one i see something i like... i gotta have it man. i see those guys on longboards at school and i feel so jealous at how fast they zoom by me. and they look so kool doing it too! lol. i think i dreamt a couple of days ago that i was longboarding on campus, it was deserted, no one was there. i had my dark jeans, a blue V neck, and y aviators. i had a sector nine longboard, and i was bouncing on it across the bridge in front of interfatih before brandywine. i was carving up rind road and everything. and then i turn around and u know that backway behind ELH that ramp that leads downt to ET and ICS. i went down there, but i bent my knees on the long board and i wash inches off the groudn and carving up the road.
man... i wanna do that. lol. i wanna b able to do that. i wanna look cool and carve up ring road! snapz son. how cool would that be? haha
10) so just reccently, Joyce said soemthing to me that applies to me, that i didn't realize myself. i remember her exact words. she said "you know wut i noticed about the way you talk ace?" Me: "Whatya notice?" Joyce: "Everytime you talk, you always talk very passionately"
and that stament got me thinking. and i think i do speak that way. (not writing tho. as you can tell, i don't write very passionately) but i do feel like i speak with passion to help get my message and tone across. i just never noticed it until joyce mentioned it to me. i felt like i knew myself all too well... but i guess there are still areas about myself that i am not 100% on... haha figures eh?
well, if you read this whole blog in it's entirety. i salute u. lol you are defintely a trooper. : P but uh... yeah, i think this took ma couple of hours to write, maybe about 2 and a half hrs. to type this up. (wiht a few breaks of course) in any case. i hope that whoever is readin this has a blessed night, and hopefully i didn't waste ur time. i'll try to write more in smaller chunks instead of great big chunks (i think the reason why i do this type of blog style is because it's the way i do hw. i do hw wth big blocks of hrs. it's just my style i guess. heeh)
good night world, it's time i get some sleep
End time: 3:57 am. 26 October 2008
anyways, a lot has happened since the last time i blogged. a month has passed, and so much has gone on, im not sure where to begin. so ima just type whatever comes to my head. so i made this quick list and i guess i'll expand on each of the following... hrm...this blog might turn out longer than what i expected. lol
- clubbing at Tappas
- The Improv
- kyrie
- family is really good
- MOTP
- UCC Rally
- Helping out with mass
- I am wowed rite now
- longboarding
- speaking with passion
1) so i know blogging about Tappas clubbing is long overdue, but yes, i shall blog about it. It was a lot of fun. seriously. Steve definetly made the night too man. It was practically a Smore hang out plus Steve and it was hella tite man. i luved it. my second time clubbin' and i just had a good time. a lotta sweaty ppl. hot environment, drunkards, u know how that goes, but it was all fun tho. let me tell u guys sumtin, Steve Forton knows how to dance, and he was battle this one guy that can pop really well too, and steve held his own, and then Kaba ppl showed up. and then we smores felt really kool for a couple of minutes. lol. cuz we started up a battle cirlce that ended up having kaba ppl. in there. haha. but in the end, we started our own dance cirlce again, and it was just kool. in the end, with the last song, we had a train line and just ended the nite, it was kool. i also felt like i learned sumtin. im not sure, but i felt like someone was teaching me sumtin on what i can do on the dancefloor, wuts acceptable and how far i can go... etc. like...iono how to describe it... but i don't think i'd be kool if i described it in a public blog, maybe ask me in person about this topic. lol.... anyway moving on! next subject we got to check out a nice viewpoint with Ronneza's exp. and good sense of direction. It was a beautiful, and cool night air with the stars shining brightly in the sky and the city lights down below us. it was just wonderful to look at, made u feel kinda powerful looking down upon the city, made u feel tall and known. haha. all in all, it was a good nite. even tho most of us had class the next day, we ddin't care. we just went out and came home late and just did our thing before school started. It was just AWESOME. a great nite to remember.
2)Steve also took some of us Smore's out to the Improv. and it was a lotta fun. man, i needed the good laff. such fun with virgin funny named drinks. srsly man, without mr. forton, the smore hang outs wouldn't have ever happend. we owe u one man. The Improv would also make a great date too. im definitely gonna hav to go bak there someday.... someday... *looks off in the sky... my eyes glaze over. a hopeful smile twinkles on ace's face.* lol sry, that was hella random
3)So apart from LOG, i've found and decided to become active in Kyrie. it has been a lotta fun, and made a lot of great new friends. there really is so much to learn from each of the varying catholic communities on campus. how we worship in different ways and the differences among the communities is quite intersting to observe and experience first hand. im kinda surprised that not many of us (catholics at uci that is) branch off and become more active in more than just one club. i feel like most of us (such as myself) become too complacent with where we are at, and don't want to experience and try new scenarios and things. i also feel like Race shouldn't be a factor in branching out to another community. There should be no such boundaries when it comes to praising God. u know? so i highly encourage everyone to just go out there and check out another catholic club besides the one you are already in!
4) i know i probably say this over and over... but i LOVE my family. they are so awesome, they support me so much. I don't think people close to me understand or realize how much my family supports me and encourages me. i dont' know where'd i'd be without God and Them. i am truly blessed, and i feel like i don't tell/show it enuf. if i ever have anyone to fall back on, it's God and my family. I always feel welcome and included with my family, not matter the age difference. i hang out with they're friends who are a couple of years older than me, and i feel accepted, and wanted. the feeling is irriplaceable. My parents also give me all sorts of medicine whether im sick or not, it's kinda like they're way of showing they love me even tho they dont' explicitly say it. i know my parent's and that's how they are. i seriuosly have bottle of medicine and herbs, and pills and juices and etc. and i forget what good they do for me, what am i suppose to use it for and how i am even suppose to use it. lol. but that's my parents and i know they love me. : D My siblings seriously support me so much, as in financially, emotionally, physically, mentally. the works man. they're like the whole package of awesomeness. they buy me food, giv me money to spend and hav fun with. invite me to the fun stuff they do, so that way i don't burn out frm school shizz and then some! Physical, mental, and economical support. and i can't thank them enuf for that. luv u guys! = D
5) MOTP(mass on the plaza) was really good, although i felt like i didn't do much/didn't put in as much effort as everyone else did, it still managed to turn out as a success. i heard there is even new talk of Interfaith getting a new building because of how great MOTP was. i hope all things go well. Mad props to UCC u guys did a lot and did a great job. all that hard work paid off eh? and MOTP Choir, so freaking talented man, i wish i was musically talented like u guys... im not sure if i have the time to learn how to play all the kool stuff u guys do, but maybe someday... i'll pick an instrument up and learn it.
6) Since i felt like Huan and I had the easier end of the stick with MOTP, I asked Huan if he was kool to back me up with coordinating UCC Rally. i knew i couldn't have done this alone. I definitely needed someone to spotcheck me. and it just so turns out that huan made an excellent partner in planning this rally. he really backed me up sooooo much with the planning and coordinating of everything. iono how the rally or I would've turned out by the nite it all went down. the rally coulda been like crap, and i coulda been hella stressed out. rofl.
So Huan and I were shooting for the stars with this rally, we were planning for 150+ ppl. to show up, but it ends up being about only approx. 50 ppl. lol. oh wellz. we both wanted it to be a really good turn out (which it was) but a good turn out as in it being a big rally with tons of ppl. out there i the crowd making noise jumping up n down sprit rally kinda thing. that's wut i was hoping for. but it's all good. we still had a fun filled spiritual nite. it was really dope. It still turned out to be a lotta fun even tho it wasn't what Huan and i expected. also... Huan and i have a confession to make... lol
we did a lot of last min. planning. like... on the spot planning, and with God's will, it just happend to work out. not sure how, but check this out. Huan and i planned so much... like weeks in advance. so Huan and i plan out with all the activites, moods, and transitions set. but what we didn't know was where HSLH was at. lol, so Huan knows it's across campus near Sci. Library. we go in and we plan for this rally in a totally different building (i think it was PSLH) LOL. so the nite of, Huan and i find out that we were planning a rally for a toally diff. building, and that taolly changed up position of choir, groups discussion numbers, booth for nametags. etc. so we did some mad scrambling, last minute copies with JPC. rosary ppl. for LOG. and there was just this that and the other, but for some reason, things worked out well.
just some future advice for others, and maybe myself next year, plan better with more specific activities. don't hav it during midterms week... and make sure you are planning this for the right room. lolz. i also felt like some groups weren't well represeted for at the UCC Rally. like... one catholic community had more support and more members show up than the other catholic community. i really wanted a lotta support and a lotta ppl. but i guess u can't hope too big if not everyone is down. u know? iono, let's just hope things are better next year. do i plan on doing rally again next year? lets' keep that as a BIG MAYBE ???
7) so helping out with 6:30 mass has been going okay. it's not that bad, but i know when there is holy days of obligatoin, or when i have to use the incents... i might fail. lol. iono man. im scared that ima mess up or hit someone in the head or sumtin. lol. I kinda don't like that fact that i have an obligation to show up really early for mass... i mean. don't get me wrong, i LOVE to serve the Lord, and what better way to do it than help serve for mass, but what about holiday's that i want to spend with my fam. bak at home for the weekend? or what about have the flexability to go to noon mass if i have something planned at 6:30 etc. iono man. i don't like that fact that im bound to something that's hard to get out of, and they way i see this, is that im going to have to do this for the next three years almost every sunday until i graduate... i mean, i have grown so much as in respecting mass more and i like what i do, but ti's just the fact that i have this obligation to do this. i needa just shut the eff up and deal with it tho. argh. iono man. i fee like i should stop whining like a lil B and just take up this cross and do it. because i know i can. iono man. i dun really know wut else to say. ah wuteverszzzz..... next topic
8) Dang... so like... i am like Wow'd rite now. My curiosity has definitely been sparked. it makes me wonder... Do you guys ever have this happen to u?: What you are just minding you own business doing you daily activities, a certain idea or thought constantly pops into your head and you just daydream about it for a while. and it constantly pops up throughout the day... the same thought/idea. where it affects the way you feel, your mood, the amount you eat. etc? do you/have you ever felt this way?
i am seriously doing my best not to get my hopes up, but i cant' stop thinking about it. i just... i think i'll leave it at that... ;-) = D
9) so i have made up my mind, i definetly want a longboard, and i want to learn how to ride one. My mind is made up... seriously. one i see something i like... i gotta have it man. i see those guys on longboards at school and i feel so jealous at how fast they zoom by me. and they look so kool doing it too! lol. i think i dreamt a couple of days ago that i was longboarding on campus, it was deserted, no one was there. i had my dark jeans, a blue V neck, and y aviators. i had a sector nine longboard, and i was bouncing on it across the bridge in front of interfatih before brandywine. i was carving up rind road and everything. and then i turn around and u know that backway behind ELH that ramp that leads downt to ET and ICS. i went down there, but i bent my knees on the long board and i wash inches off the groudn and carving up the road.
man... i wanna do that. lol. i wanna b able to do that. i wanna look cool and carve up ring road! snapz son. how cool would that be? haha
10) so just reccently, Joyce said soemthing to me that applies to me, that i didn't realize myself. i remember her exact words. she said "you know wut i noticed about the way you talk ace?" Me: "Whatya notice?" Joyce: "Everytime you talk, you always talk very passionately"
and that stament got me thinking. and i think i do speak that way. (not writing tho. as you can tell, i don't write very passionately) but i do feel like i speak with passion to help get my message and tone across. i just never noticed it until joyce mentioned it to me. i felt like i knew myself all too well... but i guess there are still areas about myself that i am not 100% on... haha figures eh?
well, if you read this whole blog in it's entirety. i salute u. lol you are defintely a trooper. : P but uh... yeah, i think this took ma couple of hours to write, maybe about 2 and a half hrs. to type this up. (wiht a few breaks of course) in any case. i hope that whoever is readin this has a blessed night, and hopefully i didn't waste ur time. i'll try to write more in smaller chunks instead of great big chunks (i think the reason why i do this type of blog style is because it's the way i do hw. i do hw wth big blocks of hrs. it's just my style i guess. heeh)
good night world, it's time i get some sleep
End time: 3:57 am. 26 October 2008
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